Mentally Ill Does Not Mean Incompetent

Mental ill does not mean incompetent, so can we please stop acting like it does?

Can mentally ill people drive trucks and trailers?

Last year I attended a campout as a youth leader for our church. There were quite a few other adults attending the camp as well. I’d been struggling somewhat with my anxiety since arriving, but most of the people there were blissfully unaware. One night, while seated by the campfire, two of the other adults attending struck up a conversation with me.

At some point, one of them asked how I was enjoying camp. I told them I was having a great time, but that I was struggling with some anxiety, explaining that it’s difficult for me to be away from home. Seemingly interested, they asked me why it was so challenging for me to be away from home.

 Thinking this was a good time to discuss mental health, and raise awareness, I informed them that I have an anxiety disorder. I told them how I struggle at night particularly, and that I’m just more comfortable at home, in a familiar environment.

What ensued next caught me completely off-guard. It’s probably one of the most surreal moments I’ve had during my anxiety journey. One of them said, “I guess that means you can’t do a lot of things. Like drive a truck and trailer or anything like that.” Then they both started laughing about it. Literally. Right in front of my face.

I decided to walk away from them. There was no point in trying to defend myself from people that were laughing at my expense. There was no reason to tell them that I actually drive a truck and trailer for a living. I didn’t feel as though I had anything to prove.

Can mentally ill people become moms?

Later though, as I lay in my bed, I thought about the conversation from earlier. I just couldn’t comprehend how the conversation jumped from anxiety disorder, to an inability to drive a truck and trailer. They just didn’t seem connected. But then I realized, that to them, when I said I had an anxiety disorder, it meant I couldn’t do difficult things.

A conversation from a couple years previous popped into my head. I was speaking with one of my mother’s friends, when she asked me how long I’d been married. “Three years.” I told her cheerfully. She then asked when we were planning on having children. I informed her that we didn’t have any immediate plans for kids. And I’ll never forget what she said after.

 “Well, I can understand why you wouldn’t want kids, with your anxiety and all. It would probably be too much to handle.” Ugh, I still can’t believe she said that. I quickly informed her that my anxiety had nothing to do with it, and walked away.

Laying in bed that night, I became aware that this woman also thought I was incapable of doing difficult things. It was a strange concept for me to grasp. I’d never thought of myself or anyone with a mental illness as less capable of doing difficult things. Sure, we might have to try a little harder, but that doesn’t mean we can’t.

Mentally Ill Does Not Mean Incompetent

This is not to say that severe and debilitating mental illness is easily navigated, or that people with a mental illness can do everything someone without one can. I’m simply saying that it’s flawed thinking to assume someone with a mental illness is incompetent. Mentally ill does not mean incompetent.

You see, people with a mental illness are strong. We spend all our time learning to adapt to the symptoms of our illnesses. We are determined to navigate our lives and accomplish our goals and dreams, in spite of our illness.

Mental illness is a sickness, just like any other. Like someone with allergies or migraines, sometimes the symptoms of a mental illness force us to adapt. We may have to use coping skills, medicine, therapies or other strategies to maneuver through life. But just like a person with allergies or migraines, living with a mental illness doesn’t keep us from living our lives to the fullest.  Mentally ill does not mean incompetent, and it never will.

So, yeah. I can drive a truck and trailer. I do it all the time. I’m probably going to be an awe-inspiring mother someday, when I choose to be. In fact, I can do and be whatever I want.

Sometimes anxiety prevents me from doing is getting a good night’s sleep, or keeps me from going to parties. (Click here to learn how to sleep when you have anxiety, and here to learn why anxious people hate parties.) But as far as long-term goals? I’ll never let mt anxiety keep me from reaching them. Anxiety will never stop me from doing what I want. There is always hope for the future, in spite of mental illness. Mentally ill does not mean incompetent.