We moved a lot during my childhood. Thirty-Four times to be exact. Surprisingly, my parents weren’t running from the law, and no, I wasn’t an army brat. My dad’s job just required a lot of moving and traveling. After moving all around The United States, if someone asked me my favorite spot, I’d have to say my South Carolina.
That’s where I was born and where I spent the largest amount of my upbringing. If I close my eyes and focus, I can still hear the sounds of crickets chirping, frogs croaking and remember the joy I felt every time I saw a firefly. I love southern culture, hospitality and most of all, southern food. There’s just something about all of it that makes you feel close to home and maybe even just a little bit closer to God. But how could you not? You’re in the bible belt after all.
Yep, South Carolina is smack-dab in the middle of the bible belt. You can’t turn a corner without seeing a Baptist, Methodist or some other kind of ‘ist’ church. Kind of like when I lived in Utah, where there’s a church every three blocks. And now, after living in Montana for almost eight years, I’ve spent almost an equal amount of time in all three places. I have known and loved people of almost every religion and culture available in The United States. That’s why I feel so confident, that what I want to talk about today is not specific to one area, but is an issue nation-wide. It’s something I like to call Evangelistic Toxicity.
I’d like to preface this with the fact that I am an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My remarks hereafter are in no way meant to be derogatory to any religious organization. My goal is to promote understanding of our fellow humans, as well as Jesus Christ. To help bridge the gap between each of us with compassion, not hostility.
My parents are converts to our church. They come from a long line of Protestant-based religion in their families, but they joined the church in their twenties and never looked back. One of the main principles of our church is to love one another, as Christ loves us. My parents have always lived this principle and as such, I grew up in a home where we never spoke poorly of people who believed differently than us. Their example of Christ-Like love was all I knew, so I was appalled as I became older and witnessed, as well as experienced, harassment at the hands of people who called themselves Christians.
I have witnessed, and continue to witness people who, in the name of God and religion, are volatile and disrespectful to those to whose views do not align with their own. People who stand in their pews every Sunday singing along to “Amazing Grace,” and yet, on Monday morning they sit around their gossip circles cursing the un-wed, pregnant teenager in the neighborhood. Or someone struggling with addiction. Or basically anyone who isn’t living THEIR version of a good life. People who use God to put others down and make them feel worthless or demean them. People who use their religion to gain status, claiming they are “holier” than others. People who construe The Bible, The Book of Mormon or other religious texts to meet the viewpoint that best suits them and their purposes. People who use God as a fearmongering technique to scare people into doing what they want them to do.
Might I also suggest that if your goal is conversion, which I doubt it actually is if you’re doing any of these things, this will not work. No one wants to join a church that makes them feel belittled, unworthy or fearful. Not only that, but these types of actions are in direct conflict with the teachings of Christ. Christ has asked us multiple times, in multiple texts to be like him. Here are just a couple of examples. “I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done.” (John 13:15; John 14:6). “What manner of men ought ye to be? Even as I am” (3 Nephi 27:27; 3 Nephi 12:48).
He was mocked, scourged, and disowned by His own people (Mosiah 15:5)—even betrayed by one disciple and denied by another. (John 18:2–3, 25–27). Did he ever act in hostility after these heartbreaks? No, he did not. He set the perfect example of love and forgiveness when He was on the cross. Referring to the Roman soldiers who had crucified Him, He prayed, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34) After everything that had been done to him, he was moved with compassion towards those soldiers and pleaded with His Father for them.
Even when a woman was brought forth to him caught in adultery, which, I might add, was considered to be as terrible as murder during that time, he treated her with love and respect. The scribes and Pharisees who brought her unto Him wanted to stone her. Upon hearing this Jesus said, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” After this admonishment, the Pharisees went on their way leaving the woman alone with Jesus. Jesus then proceeds to ask her, “Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?” To which she responds that no man hath. And here’s the important part. Jesus then says, “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” He then speaks to the Pharisees again and says, “I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” (John 8:3-12)
So what’s the take home from this? I think there’s a few important points from this story. First of all, Jesus did not punish the adulterous woman. In fact, He lectured her accusers, not her! Think about that. A woman has been brought to him caught in one of the worst sins imaginable at the time and he lectures the men who want to bring her to justice, not her! Second, the word woman, in Greek, is a title of respect. Although it may sound harsh to our modern ears, it really means something more like ‘lady’. We can gather from this that Christ is very likely referring to this woman tenderly and respectfully even amidst her sins. Lastly, after sending the woman on her way, He teaches the Pharisees to follow His example. He made it clear that his expectations were for them to act in love.
My point from all this is that when people treat others unkindly, especially in the name of God, they are just fooling themselves. Someone once said to me, “You’re a Mormon, you’re blasphemous and we don’t have the same God.” I would just like say that any God that condones the mistreatment of others, is definitely not my God. The Father in Heaven that I know is loving, kind and merciful. He doesn’t condemn people to Hell just because they believe differently than me. In my religion we believe we are literally spirit children of a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother, who love us more than we can comprehend. Who want the best for ALL of their children. I know that to be true.
I believe that people from all types of religions will find their way into Heaven. I believe that everyone has the opportunity to have a beautiful, eternal life with their families. I believe in miracles brought on by faith. I believe that God cares for those who don’t know Him, and for those who condemn Him. I believe in loving people, no matter where their life has taken them and no matter what they’ve done. I believe the gospel should be a gospel of peace and hope, not of condemnation. I feel so thankful to belong to a church that teaches all these things and so much more. I hope that I can become more like Jesus Christ, because that’s the whole point of being here. To love one another, as He has loved us.
P.S. If you have any questions about my religion, I’d be happy to answer them. You can also get a free Book of Mormon here.
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