How to Sleep with Anxiety

Of all the lessons I’ve learned, how to sleep with anxiety is definitely one of the most difficult. For me, most nights are filled with tossing, turning and stifling panic attacks to avoid waking my husband. In fact, almost every panic attack I endure is at night, when I should be sleeping. However, after years of learning how to sleep with anxiety, here’s some things that work for me:

What to do Before Bed

1. Prepare for sleep during the day. One of the best things you can do is go throughout your day with sleep in mind. Try to exercise for at least thirty minutes and avoid caffeine or other stimulants. Exercise is a proven method to help with sleep. Stimulants increase heart rate and awareness, making it more difficult to sleep and laying the foundation for a panic attack.
2. Make your bed a space for sleeping. Something we’ve been working on in our house is creating “spaces.” Spaces for specific activities. The living room for entertainment, the office for working and the bedroom for sleeping. Studies consistently show that creating spaces within the home for specific activities can lead to better productivity and sleep. So, even though your bed seems like a comfortable place to work in, don’t do it.
3. Follow a routine. Another proven method of getting better sleep is following a routine. Beginning a nightly ritual can help our brains learn when it’s time to sleep. This will assist in melatonin production and make you more tired and calm. Every night, my husband and I read a book together and drink a cup of herbal tea. Following this ritual at around the same time each night helps me sleep better overall.
4. Avoid stressful activities and screen time. Don’t pay bills, exercise or do other stressful things immediately before bed. The goal is to create a sense of calm before sleeping. Avoid using your phone or watching television within an hour of bed as well. Our brains react to bright light because it’s associated with sunlight. This will keep you awake.

How to Sleep with Anxiety After Getting in Bed

Okay, so you’ve done your nightly routine. You’ve prepared for this, but sleep is not happening. What can you do? Here’s some things I’ve found to be helpful:

1. Meditation. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Meditation is key to anxiety reduction. Mindfulness meditation can help you learn to respond to stressors with awareness, instead of instinctually. This awareness helps you adapt in the moment, and respond in a rational way. Meditation at bedtime is one of my greatest tools in helping me learn how to sleep with anxiety. (Additionally, check out some tips for emotionally surviving COVID-19 here, where I also talk about meditation.)
2. Write down what’s on your mind. When I’m laying in bed with a million things racing through my mind, I find it very helpful to write them down. Just getting the words out of my head and onto a piece of paper is immensely helpful in slowing my thoughts. Try writing down your anxieties or whatever is running through your brain to get some clarity.
3. Don’t rest in your anxiety. Sometimes, no matter what you do, your anxiety will still be overwhelming. It will still prevent you from sleeping. Over the years, I’ve found that continuing to lay there with my anxiety is completely counterproductive. I like to give myself 30 or so minutes to fall asleep. If I don’t fall asleep in that time, I get up and do something else non-stressful until I’m ready to try again. My favorite thing to do is grab a book and another cup of herbal tea. Don’t let your anxiety keep you prisoner in your own bed.

Final Thoughts

I’ve finally accepted the fact that sleeping is not my strong suit. I’m good at a lot of things, but sleeping is just not one of them. I think that part of having a mental illness is learning to adapt to the complications it places on our lives. Adapting to the symptoms, but not surrendering to them, is the key to leading a joyful, fulfilling life.

Personally, I plan on spending the rest of my life adapting to my mental illness. Because I know that acknowledging my mental illness for what it is, and how it impacts my life, does not define me, and who I am.